“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Quiet leaders do not harp on troubles of the past, for they understand that the past does not define us; what does is only what we choose to be.
We are slaves to the past only by our choosing. For it is only by unwillingness do we refuse to let the past remain there.
Ours pasts have indeed led us to this very moment. What has happened in our lives has unduly contributed to who we are, what we feel, what we think, and what we believe. But the past does not limit what we choose to be today, and on behalf of a better tomorrow.
But many cannot fathom this concept — many, even unknowingly, are enslaved to the past. Their pasts have cast a shadow upon who they believe they can become. Their pasts have limited their individual beliefs in themselves.
To enslave one’s self to the past in such a way is to relive it within one’s own mind — the past becomes an overbearing and overarching foe, an obstructing veil that colors what we do and how we live.
Worst of all, those with whom we interact, those who cannot see and seldom realize the veil of the past that you choose to wear, suffer the consequences of misunderstanding, miscommunication, and strained relations.
The past serves us with lessons and reminders. The past is a path that has lead us to this moment.
But, as a hiker does not dwell upon the rocks that caused her to slip, or the creek that demanded from her a leap of faith so that she might cross it, dwelling upon challenges and trials of our pasts serve only to obstruct us from living fully, today.
Allowing the past to define us today adversely affects friendships and relationships because we obligate others to determine, dissect, and understand occurrences and influences of the past that influence our behavior today. To willfully burden a friend, family member or lover with the task of unmasking and fully understand the unseen and increasingly-distant influences of the past is an unfair burden that will surely complicate happiness.
While the past has heavily influenced who we are and who we have become, it does not define, limit, or restrict us and who we choose to be. Our potential — what we allow ourselves to do today, and what we do on behalf of a better tomorrow — is always unlimited.
Quiet leaders understand that the past limits no one’s unlimited potential, and they strive to let others understand it as well.
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I am greatly enjoying the ongoing discussion about this post on social networking websites, especially Reddit.
Many are concluding that the past does indeed define us, insofar as what has happened in the past has decisively influenced who we are and brought us to the present moment. This is undoubtedly true and is even asserted in the piece: “…the past has heavily influenced who we are and who we have become…”.
However, I’d like to remind readers that the intent of the piece is to say that the past — one’s personal history, what has influenced, happened to or affected someone before the present moment — absolutely does not limit someone’s potential: “…[the past] does not define, limit, or restrict us and who we choose to be.”
In other words, while our individual pasts have brought us to this moment (who we have become), we are not slaves to what has happened because the past does not limit our unlimited potential of what we can become, what we can dream, and what we can achieve.
Dave